Becoming the next Iron Chef

I have decided to learn how to cook.

If you know at all, you will know that this is not something I am going to do gracefully.

I don't have a single bone in my body meant for cooking. It's not my thing which is funny since I wanted to be a chef in High School. I know, weird. Don't judge.

I feel you judging. Stop it. OK, moving on....

I may or may not have promised my boyfriend that I would learn how to cook for him. My eyes are rolling in the back of my head. This is how much I love him. I'll do something I absolutely despise to make him happy. Puke.

Today was my first attempt. ok, so this wasn't exactly cooking. It was baking but I didn't know that until the venture was over and done with. Can I roll my eyes again??

I made cinnamon rolls! Insert confetti throwing here.

Here's the proof.

Starting on the road to recovery

Wednesday was the day. The 30th of May at 9:50 am. It was at Stanford Medical with some of the best doctors in the country. They were able to remove the calcium deposits in my foot and they removed a lot of calcium in my knee. The one in my knee was almost two inches long. Recovery is going to be hard. Pain medication only works a little and apparently, I'm allergic to vicodin. Here's a picture of what my knee looks like.

Enlightenment

I've been doing a lot of thinking today. That usually gets me in trouble but I feel confident now. I realized that everything everyone has been saying about me has been true for the most part, much to my dismay. I have been very preoccupied with guys and I think that's because I wasn't 100% over my ex fiance. I couldn't fully let go because I felt like I was in the wrong.

Well, I'm sure as hell able to let go now. He showed his true colors and I know I deserve better than him. I just wish I'd seen it sooner but I have been working on myself so there's not much else I can do. All I know is that I'll never go back to him. He will never, ever have me again even if he does want me which I know he doesn't. I don't want him either. He's a joke and I'm so done being nice to him. He's not worth my time.

Finally moving on

I've been doing a lot of soul searching recently. I've worked through my commitment issues and other problems I had last year and I feel like I have closure with my ex fiance. I know I'm a good person and he would be lucky to have me so if he doesn't want me, then I don't know if he ever really loved me and I'm ok with that. I have closed and locked that door. I deserve better than that and he's missing out so good riddance. I feel content now.

Trust your instincts

I broke up with Michael today. I feel guilty only because I don't feel bad about it. I don't think we were right for each other. It was fun while it lasted but I know that we can find someone more fulfilling in our lives. Moving on!

30 days

My surgery is on May 30th and then I'll be away from Michael for two months. I'm kinda freaking out. I know I need this surgery but I'm so nervous to be gone from him for that long. I don't remember how to do long distance. It's only 8 week. It's only 8 weeks. It's only 8 weeks.

:(

4/25/2012

So much has been going on lately. I have just over a month left til I have surgery so I need to start packing. I'll be moving immediately into the Alpha Chi house in August so I have to pack up all my stuff. Fun stuff, right?!

I've been thinking a lot about my life right now, trying to figure out my goals. I have to focus on my faith, health, fitness, my relationships, school, work, Alpha Chi, and my education. Seems like a lot. I'm doing well in school. I think I can get past this semester with everything above C's. I need to start going back to church as well and praying more. I need God to lead me down the path I'm meant to go on.

I've been thinking about my ex a lot lately too. Yesterday was one year since he proposed and it was a really hard day for me. I was upset the entire day. I'm still with Michael and that makes me feel guilty. I'm not sure I see a future with him and I thought I was over Rich but maybe I'm not completely. That's tough to admit. I think it'd be easier if I could move on from my ex-fiance and just focus on the here and now but he still holds a piece of my heart. Maybe he always will.

I'm also focusing on work. I've been getting way more hours than I usually do. I have to work tomorrow night and then I'm driving down to my parent's house for my appointment. So not looking forward to that.

My co-worker moved into my apartment! Her name's Alyssa and she is so awesome. I love her. She hooked us up with internet and cable again. Woot! That's about it for now. More to come later.