Where's the light at the end of this tunnel?

I don't even know how long it's been since me and my ex boyfriend broke up. I feel like it's been months but I don't even think it's been two weeks. Lately, I've been so depressed. I question myself for the break up. Was there something I did that made him feel like he could treat me the way he did? What impression did I give him that made him think that talking to me like that was ok? I'm so angry. I'm angry at myself. I'm angry at him. I'm mad at the whole situation. I just want us to go back to how we were months ago, before we got engaged. I miss that so much. I've been crying for days.

A part of me wants to forgive and forget but I can't. How the hell can he think it's ok to raise his voice to me? How the hell did I fall in love with a man like that? How did I not see it coming? I wanna tell him I miss him but I can't. I shouldn't. I don't want to play with his emotions. I want all of our pain to go away but that's not easy. I lost my best friend. I feel like I don't even know him. I was so angry. I said some really bad things about him out of anger and I regret it. We can never be together again. It's breaking my heart. I just wanna stop crying.

Finding myself single again.

Me and my ex boyfriend broke up three days ago. Well, I broke up with him. We broke off the engagement around the 1st. I can't remember the exact date. So much has been running through my mind since I left him. I miss him but I really don't see how things could work out between us. I love him though. It's so confusing. We still talk sometimes but maybe we shouldn't. I should just focus on myself. I really need to focus on myself. I have so much growing to do. I have so much to learn and I'm gonna be moving for school soon. We just need to move on with our lives.