That's the length of time it's been since me and my ex fiance broke up. It has been anything but an easy journey. I've gone on a roller coaster of emotions from loving him, hating him, missing him, wanting to hurt him, to loving him. I do still love him. I think he thinks I played with his emotions during the months we were broken up though. I wanted to compromise and be with him but I needed him to make an effort and he wouldn't. I couldn't bring myself to be what he needed.
I'm still grieving the relationship. I had a really hard time for a while. I started becoming depressed and I even cut myself once but I sought help and went into therapy at school. I saw a therapist every week for a couple months and it helped a lot. I still miss him but I'm doing ok on my own most days.
Sometimes, I don't understand how he could have moved on so fast. It was like he didn't love me anymore even a couple months after the break up. He didn't try to fight for me. He didn't try to make it work. That's not love. I don't think he even knows what love is. It's heart breaking.
I wonder what he would say if he could read this now? Would he even care? Hmm...It doesn't matter. He's made it clear that he's over me. He even deleted me on facebook. He must think so low of me that he doesn't want me in his life at all. Am I really that bad of a person? I really don't understand. Maybe I never will......
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